Things You Can Learn From Working with Animals

A “Kaleidoscopic Contemplations” mini-series

For the next few weeks, I will be focusing my entries on the theme of “Things You Can Learn From Working with Animals.” 

Having had a variety of experiences with species from hamsters to dolphins to komodo dragons, I find that there are many lessons to be learned from human-animal interactions.  This week’s entry will focus on the epitome of incompliance, the cat.

If You Can Teach a Cat to Sit, You Can Do Almost Anything

(Formerly titled “x 0020 fgt”*)

I don’t know how many of you have cats, but for those of you who don’t, let me provide a brief explanation of the nature of the domesticated feline.

Cats are, in general, stubborn, difficult to motivate toward any particular desired behavior, even more difficult to de-motivate toward any un-desired behavior, crafty, finicky, and usually fairly snooty.  I recently asked a friend to tell me in one word how he would describe a cat – he said, “Obnoxious.”

Yet for all their “obnoxious” qualities, I find that cats have a certain charm.  I’ve owned cats nearly my entire life.  I got my first kitten when I was about three years old, and I’ve had a total of 8 pet cats in my life, or about 20 if you count litters of kittens kept briefly and then given to good homes.   Why do I find cats charming?  Well, it’s true that they are independent, low-maintenance, useful predators (assuming they prey on things you want killed), and adorable whenever they choose to be.   But none of these reasons are why I really like cats. 

My main attraction to cats, honestly, is the challenge.  Unlike dogs, cats are resistant to nearly every type of training.   I think this is a fact which is sorely underestimated.

For some inexplicable reason, there is a leash law on cats in my neighborhood.  I don’t know if any of you have ever attempted to train a cat to walk on a leash (obviously the people who thought up this law never did!), but I have.  In fact, I tried it with three different cats.  The result?  One fat cat lying in the road stubbornly refusing to move, one cat which viciously attacked my hands any time I approached with the collar (maybe that’s where that mysterious scar on my hand came from), and another cat which came so near to choking itself by pulling incessantly at its collar (all the while also attacking me viciously) that my father actually called 9-1-1 for help.

Being the law-abiding citizens we are, we then decided to keep our cats inside so as to avoid violating the leash law.  Indoor cats are fine, if they’re used to being indoor cats.  Outdoor cats attempted to be made indoor cats are another story.   We put in a cat door which led out to a nice screened-in porch to allow the cats free access to fresh air; one cat actually ripped through the screen with his tooth -- one feline fang, straight through the metal screen.  If you’ve never seen a cat tear through something with one tooth, I recommend watching it sometime.  It’s a demonstration of sheer determination.  We then attempted to patch the screen… multiple times.   It was an effort in futility. For every patched hole, my cat made at least two new ones.  Eventually, a hurricane knocked loose part of the screen on a corner of the porch and we decided to just to leave it; now my cat goes in and out of the porch as he pleases. 

My current cat used to meow constantly: if he wanted attention, he meowed.  If he wanted food, he meowed.  If he wanted water, he meowed.  If he wanted to go out the side door instead of the cat door, he meowed.  If he brought in a lizard, he meowed… and so on.  You get the point.  Any attempt to scold him for meowing would be answered with – you guessed it – more meowing.

This is not a unique phenomenon.  Cats are, in a word, incompliant.

It is for this very reason that I take such pride in declaring that I have triumphed over the feline mentality; I have quelled the feline temperament and bested the beast!  How, you ask?  I taught my cat to sit.  On command.

That’s right.  On command.  My cat listens to me now!

How did I achieve such an unbelievable feat?  Well… let me tell you…. It took hard work, and patience, and gentle correction, and …

Those of you who have ever tried to train a cat are shaking your heads about now.

The truth is, it was a combination of pure luck, persistence, and a twinge of insanity that comes when you start talking to your cat as if it can understand you.  Oh yeah, and something I like to call the belly rub maneuver.

Basically, this is how it went down: 

First, I happened to land myself with a cat that has a genuinely good temperament.  He actually likes attention (imagine that!), and he responds well to praise.  In fact, he pretty much follows me around like a puppy (he’s a very uncatlike cat).

Second, my husband and I applied a very complicated training technique:  we ignored him.  That’s right; let those snooty cats have a taste of their own medicine!   Seriously, though… any time he meowed, we purposefully walked away or turned around and ignored him.  Cats are very clever, and they quickly figure out when their manipulation tactics aren’t working.

Finally (and this is the secret weapon of cat training!), I used the belly rub maneuver.  For those of you with cats, I recommend thinking very carefully about your own safety before attempting this.  The basic principle is to humble the cat; let it know who’s in charge!  You pick up the cat, and (gently!) roll it over onto its back in your lap.  You then hold the scruff of its neck with one hand, and pet its stomach with the other hand.  If your attempt is successful (meaning the cat doesn’t maul you before twisting away and glaring at you malevolently), the cat will understand that he has been placed into a position of submission.  With enough repetition, the cat will eventually renounce his claim as all-powerful ruler of your household, and settle into his new role as the obedient feline.

After that, the cat is fully prepared to receive any repetitive command training you desire to offer.  Combine vocal commands with specific hand gestures; repeat and watch the cat try everything it can think of until it stumbles upon the correct action.  Reward its success with some petting and catnip-flavored treats, and you will soon see the fruits of your efforts.

My cat and I have a wonderful relationship now.  He is affectionate and loving; he comes when I call him, he sits when I tell him (we’re still working on “lie down”), and whenever he wants water, he sits politely by his bowl and waits for it to be brought to him. 

I have achieved something rare – I have made my cat compliant.

So… what can be learned from all of this? 

Well, first of all, none of this would have worked if my cat and I hadn’t already established a basis of trust.  Had he not already been eager to please me, when I tried to teach him to sit, he would have just stared at me coldly in that way that cats do, and walked off with his tail twitching.  This likely has larger applications to life in general… I’ll leave you to figure that part out. 

Secondly, of course, it shows the need for patience in any situation.  As impossible a task as it seemed to train a cat to sit, through persistence it was accomplished.

Thirdly, it demonstrates that even the most stubborn of creatures can become a pleasant companion, if you can only figure out the source of the problem and find a way to deal with it.  In the case of the cats, this problem would be an annoying feeling of superiority.  Understanding the problem is half the battle.

But the main point, I think, is that if it’s possible to train a cat to sit, then surely it’s possible to do nearly anything.  Perhaps any situation in life can, like a non-compliant cat, be fixed with persistence, understanding, and a bit of belly rubbing.

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* “x 0020 fgt” was what the first draft of this column actually said – the result of banging forehead and hands on the keyboard in frustration.  I think I improved it a bit in revision.

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