(Part 3 of “Things You Can Learn from Working with Animals,” a Kaleidoscopic Contemplations mini-series)

 One Poke in the Eye Can Ruin a Friendship

 When I was very little, my mother and I spent an occasional Saturday at my great aunt’s house.  Visits to Aunt Francis’ house were dull – my mother and Francis spending hours talking about topics completely uninteresting to a four-year-old child – but she had a golden retriever named Teddy, whom I adored, and Teddy was the only part of the visit I looked forward to.  I remember, on many occasions, climbing through the wooden legs of the dining room chairs to join Teddy under the table, curling up against him, my child’s body just barely smaller than his, and weaving my fingers into his long fur.  I’d take naps with him that way, my head leaning on him and my fingers laced in fur, listening to him breathe softly and feeling the cold tile beneath me.

 I loved that dog.  Teddy was a good and gentle dog, the perfect companion for a small child.

 But one day when we came to visit Aunt Francis, Teddy had been put outside. 

 “I wouldn’t go near him,” she told me, “the kids next door stuck him in the eye with a stick last week, through the fence, and he’s been growling at children ever since.”

 I pressed my hands against the sliding glass door, my breath gently fogging the glass.  Teddy was curled up in a tight ball in the shadow of a large tree.  Not at me, I told myself, surely Teddy wouldn’t growl at me.

 My aunt led me out into the backyard, urging me to move slowly, carefully; when we neared the tree, she told me to stand still and called Teddy over to her. 

But it was not my Teddy who approached; it was a different dog, though it looked like Teddy; it was a cowering dog, with flattened back ears and bared teeth; it was a trembling dog with its tail tucked in and its body shaking, a low but steady growl rumbling in its throat.

 My Teddy was gone.

 It was difficult for me to understand why Teddy couldn’t discern me, his friend, from the children who had treated him cruelly; and to my four-year-old sensibility, it was the greatest injustice in the world that one cruel child with a stick could destroy all the trust and friendship Teddy and I had built.

 But then I guess it’s not so different in adult life, or in relationships with people.  One careless word can take years to smooth over, just as one poke in a dog’s eye can ruin a cherished friendship.

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