Before I get going on this weeks exciting editorial, I have a quick quiz for y’all! No cheating now…

Which of these news stories did I make up?

1: Serial rapist escapes from hospital because a doctor didn’t label him as ‘dangerous’ for fear of offending him.

2: Novelty pig-related merchandise banned in certain parts of the country because they offend some Muslims.

3: A West End play depicting a gay Jesus is banned because of complaints from Christians.

 If you guessed number 3 congratulations! Have a loved one give you a pat on the back (or alternately, if you’re entirely unloved, go ahead and just give yourself a pat on the back).

I really wish I’d made up those first two…I really do.

 Let’s take a look at that serial rapist for a moment. That charming chap, Terrence O’Keefe, was locked away in a mental institution after being given life* for a string of vicious rapes. When he was transferred to another hospital for treatment, the doctor labelled him as a ‘medium secure patient’. In other words, the doctor basically wrote down that staff should be a tad cautious, but not too worried or anything. After all, it’s not like he was some psychotic sexual predator living in a crazy-house or anything!

The best part is that it wasn’t even the first time he’d escaped from that particular hospital! He got away in October 2005 as well.

I dread to think what he’ll get up to before he’s caught again…

 All that talk of a rapist makes a wonderful segway into the topic of pigs. Pigs aren’t famous for being the most popular of animals. They’re pretty ugly, they live in their own filth, and they smell rotten. Yet for some bizarre reason there’s just something about them that endears them to people. Maybe it’s the cute little ‘oinks’ and grunts they make, or how tasty they are on a plate with eggs and toast. Who knows, but regardless, there are some who don’t much care for pigs and have let their discontent be known. No longer can the town of Dudley in the West Midlands sell ornaments, calendars, or anything else that displays those hideous yet loveable pink mammals!

Not even little Piglet of Whiney the Pooh fame was spared.

 I have a dog and I love my dog. But Muslim’s hate dogs as much as pigs, so I wonder how long it’ll be before I have to give my little Jack Russell up, least he causes offence on his daily walk? Not today. People love dogs far more than pigs, but if things keep sliding like this, it’ll be just a matter of time.

 I realize that this problem of bending over backwards to not offend a spade by calling it a spade is not an exclusively British one. I certainly know that America has more than its fair share of Political Correctness gone-mad, but I must say, I’ve lived in America and no where is it more insane than here. I’ve given just two examples of it and I assure you I could give a hundred more. The concept of ‘give them an inch and they’ll take a mile’ is not actually lost on our government, but in fact seems to be government policy!

 The worst part is it’ll all backfire one day. Eventually people are going to wake up and see what’s going on, and there will be a horrifying backlash, with many innocent people suffering for it.

 But hey, at least no one was offended! That would have been a real disaster…

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 * Life doesn't mean life in this country, but that's just part of our messed up justise systom and a topic for another time.

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